When a delicious looking dish totally flops. #CookingFail

Let me be clear: I’m no stranger to cooking fails.

There have been cookies that completely fell apart (but still tasted great crumbled up on top of some coconut milk ice-cream), banana bread that didn’t quite rise and definitely wasn’t sweet enough (but still tasted ok with some almond butter spread on top) and of course, there was the time I was supposed to make a pretty ombre Hanukah cake turned anything else than pretty. (But I was able to salvage them into delicious and festive cake pops.)

Usually, I’m able to salvage the dish and turn in to something edible. But this one? This one was a throw-it-in-the-trash-how-do-I-get-this-taste-out-of-my-mouth-I-could-probably-use-this-to-torture-someone-to-get-information-I-need kind of bad.

I’m talking about Cauliflower Rolls.

To most of you in the non-paleo world,  the name in and of itself probably has you thinking  “um, DUH” because unlike chocolate and peanut butter (mmm chocolate and peanut butter!) let’s face it, cauliflower and rolls are just not two words that fit naturally together.

BUT!

While everyone is on a January health kick, The internet is a buzz with these cauliflower rolls and tons of bloggers say they are in fact, delicious! No one is claiming they taste like a real roll/bagel but they are claiming that they serve as a great grain free vehicle for condiments, spreadables, breakfast sandwiches and so much more!  And after trying recipes from most of these bloggers, I do trust that when they something is gooood, they are right!

Just about all of these bloggers put their own spin on a basic recipe. Lexi’s Clean Kitchen’s recipe uses salt and garlic powder with an everything topping. Dishing up the Dirt also uses garlic and salt but topped hers with Za’atar spices.  used nutritional yeast and Real Food with Dana uses 2 tablespoons of nutritional yeast, 1/2 tsp salt and there cajun flavoring in hers. And this is just the tip of the cauliflower roll/bagel/bun iceberg. So I figured why not use what I had in the house and improvise.

I whipped these bad boys up with the same basic ingredients that most people followed: 3 cups riced cauliflower, 4 tablespoons almond flour (some recipes call for 2 tablespoons almond flour, 2 tablespoons coconut flour), 2 eggs.

For seasoning, I added 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 tablespoon of nutritional yeast and 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

and the topped it off with poppy seeds & sesame seeds!

They smelled great while baking and looked really good, too!

IMG_0873

WRONG. SO. WRONG.

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I don’t know if I used too much salt with the nutritional yeast? I can’t put my finger on it but these were just BAD. No, actually strike that-  they were WORSE than bad. And I was quite sad about it!  (Also it was SUCH a waste of two perfectly delicious Vital Farms Pasture Raised eggs!)

So I’m asking you- where did I go wrong? Have you made these? Have they worked for you? Or are they just bad and people are pretending that they are totally edible just because they slightly resemble a real carb? Please! Tell me!

I’m willing to try again! But for now, I  think I will just stick to my cauliflower rice.

XO,J

 

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4 Comments

  • Lexi

    January 11, 2017 - 7:51 pm

    I think you need to remake them and follow the ingredients! Hundreds have people have made these from my website and have loved them! XO, Lexi

    • Jill

      January 12, 2017 - 11:33 am

      Thanks Lexi!!! I will be retrying this weekend and will let you know how they turn out! Thanks for all of the help!!! xo!

  • Real Food with Dana

    January 12, 2017 - 6:06 am

    Hey Jill! Ugh, I feel you recipe fails are the worst. In December I literally baked 6 batches of cookies (all fails) before I finally got a recipe right.

    So for the buns – the coconut flour is really key in them, that’s why all our recipes include it, so they don’t have an overwhelming, grainy, almond-y taste. Is that what yours tasted like? It’s really important with baked recipes to follow the recipe exactly (and believe me, I struggle with this too, lol!), because the chemistry is totally different of almond vs. coconut and other gluten-free flours in relation to the liquid ingredients in the recipe. It can also make the taste totally off if you switch up ratios of coconut vs. almond flour!

    The nutritional yeast may also be a preference thing – some people love it, some people hate it – maybe leave it out next time and substitute more spices instead. I think 1 tsp salt may be a little too much for the recipe. Here’s my go-to blend: 1 tsp garlic powder + 1 tsp onion powder + 1 tsp sea salt, and maybe a pinch of black pepper. Hope that helps, and hope the next batch turns out great!

    Dana

    • Jill

      January 12, 2017 - 11:34 am

      Thanks Dana! Yes I usually love nutritional yeast and I did 1 tsp salt and 1 tbsp nutritional yeast and they didnt taste grainy they just tasked SUPER salty! But I will attempt again because they all look delicious! Thank you so much for the help!!! xo!

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