WHEN FOOD LOOKS UGLY BUT TASTES GOOD… A STORY IN KITCHEN FAILS

Happy Monday!!

It really is a very happy Monday because today marks the first day post 21-Day Sugar Detox! I can’t believe we made it! Honestly, it went by pretty fast (for me at least… pretty sure The Boy feels differently) and I feel inspired to keep it up. Well at least until Thanksgiving.  Because, pumpkin pie. And apple crisp. And cookies…

I can say now, post 21DSD that prior to starting this, I wasn’t entirely convinced that your cravings for sugar could go away. But I (shockingly) really don’t crave a lot of the things I missed in week one! I know, I know, I’m annoyed with myself for saying that too.

Anywho– last weekend, The Boy and I let cooking take over our lives. We spent the ENTIRE weekend Costco’ing and grocery store shopping and cooking so that we had food prepped for the entire week. It started out all fun and games… I was a Martha Jewart with my “Not Sweet Donuts” and he, a full fledged Mario Jewtali whipping up tomato sauce and ketchup from scratch (I know, right?!)

But then it overtook the entire weekend and we both vowed never again. Cooking a meal together here and there… good. Cooking for hours and hours on end? That’s where all relationships go to die a slow (cooker) death.

So this weekend was supposed to be all actual fun and games. But somehow, I kept getting sucked back into the kitchen. The raw cauliflower and broccoli in the fridge was begging to be roasted. And the 1/2 can of pumpkin and green tipped banana that was about to turn ripe? I mean what was I supposed to do? Just let it them sit there? There were Not Sweet Donuts to be made, people! I TRIED to relax, really I did.  But I kept hearing the coconut butter in the pantry saying “make me into a truffle, woman!”

I don’t know who I am anymore!

For my final #21DSD cooking fest, I really wanted to try these veggie patties from the 21 Day Sugar Detox book. Diane Sanfilippo (the creator) says they make great “buns” for burgers and are also great on their own so I figured they seemed both easy and yummy.  And since there were carrots in the fridge (okay, I may or may not have gone out to buy said carrots) I really had no other choice but to whip these patties up.

AND the total prep time said 10 minutes and it was just a few simple ingredients… So I took it to the kitchen!

I shredded up 4 cups of carrots and zucchini. But that part alone took seventeen years. I was already feeling defeated but I am not a quitter (well I did quit the piano in like 4th grade. And tennis)

So I carried on…

I mixed up three eggs beaten with 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp pepper and 1/2 tsp garlic powder and then mixed in 1/4 cup of coconut flour until it became dough like:

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And then I tried to squeeze out the excess water in the veggies which turned into one hot orange mess. After that, I added the veggies to the mixture:

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I added coconut oil to the skillet and added 1/4 cup of the mixture in blobs on my pan over medium-high heat:

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All seemed to go well… Until it was time to flip… and they completely fell apart…

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(Not to mention they were burnt… #oops)

And at the end once plated, the “patties” looked like this:

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And not like THIS:

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Hmmm.

Take note dear readers: I am an honest woman. It would’ve been easy to just not post this blog at all– and never share this mess of a veggie patty kitchen fail but I’m not one of those bloggers whose food looks all gorgeous and amazing and like you want to eat it SO badly that you’re embarrassingly wiping the drool from your face while looking at your instagram feed. I want you know that I don’t have a full plate of food porn on the first try… because this blog is all about trying and failing and trying some more… like that inspirational quote that is on like all of those greeting cards and kitchen magnets and stuff.

I want you to know that I fail. A lot. And this was one big hot plate of fail. #aintnoshame

The good news? They tasted good. Like really good! So maybe it’s more of a veggie hash than a patty?

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The next day while at a local natural market, Jimbo’s in San Diego, I saw they had already shredded up carrots and beets and zucchini and I thought maybe I wold have better luck. So I tried again… because well you know that quote…

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and these ones stayed together more! Success!

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but then… they also burned! Fail.

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Sooo not quite sure what the answer is here– other than don’t judge a food by it’s burnt and mushy appearance…because really they do taste great!

I do think it that its time to hang up my apron for a minute and take a weekend or two to just have actual outside of the kitchen fun and games.

I grabbed the leftover shredded veggies this morning to add to a my salad and found this note inside from The Boy:

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I think he’s ready for his non-cooking-picky-ordering-almond-latte-drinking GF back.

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